In This Article
RSVP etiquette. The conventions for responding to a formal invitation. The modern bright lines: respond within two weeks of receipt; respond yes or no, not maybe; respond for exactly the people invited; respond in the format the host has set (paper card, online, phone). The hardest rule is no plus-ones unless the invitation extends one.
Where the term comes from
RSVP is shorthand for the French repondez s'il vous plait (please respond). The convention is at least three centuries old in European court etiquette and was codified for the modern American context by Emily Post starting in 1922. The two-week response window is a 20th-century convention; older etiquette demanded a same-day reply by hand-delivered card.
How it shows up in real life
An invitation arrives for a wedding eight weeks out. The recipient is fairly sure they can come but wants to wait to see what their travel schedule looks like. They sit on the invitation for five weeks. The host now needs to chase them, build a backup attendance estimate, and pay the caterer's headcount surcharge for late changes. The convention exists because hosts plan against responses, not against intentions.
Common misuses
The most common mistake is treating the response as a soft signal of intent rather than a commitment. Maybe is not an RSVP. Declining and later asking to attend is much harder to undo than declining outright. The second most common mistake is responding for guests the invitation did not include, including children. If the envelope does not name your kids, the kids are not invited.
