In This Article
Work spouse. A close, platonic workplace friendship that performs many of the daily-support functions of a marriage at the office: regular check-ins, shared inside vocabulary, mutual problem-solving, ride or die loyalty within the work context. Distinct from any romantic relationship; the distinction is non-negotiable for the term to apply.
Where the term comes from
The phrase work spouse entered American workplace vocabulary in the 1980s and stabilized as common usage by the 2000s. McEwan and Flood's 2018 paper in the journal Sex Roles provides one of the most-cited academic treatments, distinguishing the work-spouse relationship from both ordinary collegiality and from inappropriate workplace intimacy. The term has been particularly stable in office and white-collar work contexts.
How it shows up in real life
Two coworkers have lunch together three or four times a week. They run drafts past each other before sending them up. They debrief on every meeting. They know each other's home situations, vacation plans, and the names of each other's children. There is no romance, no flirtation, no boundary slipping. They are simply each other's primary work-day companion. The work-spouse relationship is real workplace infrastructure.
Common misuses
The term is sometimes applied to relationships that have crossed into emotional-intimacy territory not appropriate for a workplace, and using work spouse to obscure that crossing is the canonical misuse. The relationship retains its label only as long as the romantic and intimate boundaries are unambiguous. The other misuse is using the phrase as license for behavior that would be inappropriate with any other colleague; the work-spouse framing does not change the workplace conduct rules.
