In This Article
Re-gifting is the practice of passing along an unused gift to a new recipient instead of using it oneself or letting it sit in a closet.
The practice has been treated with varying levels of judgment across decades of etiquette writing. The strictest view treats re-gifting as an etiquette failure on the principle that a gift is owed an intentional response. The more contemporary view, which Emily Post Institute and several major etiquette outlets now articulate, is that re-gifting can be done well or badly, and the question is whether the new recipient is genuinely served by the gift.
The rules that make it work
The gift must be in original, unused condition (no opened bottles, no removed tags, no candles burned for ten minutes). It must be genuinely well-matched to the new recipient (re-gifting a generic item is barely different from buying a generic item; re-gifting an item the new recipient would actually want is the practice working as intended). It must not circulate back into the original giver's social circle in any way that risks discovery, the original giver attending the new recipient's housewarming and recognizing the candle would be a small disaster. And, of course, no original-giver inscription or note can remain inside the gift.
When it is fine
Re-gifting works best with items that are objectively nice but did not fit the original recipient: the cashmere scarf in a color the original recipient does not wear, the cookbook the original recipient already owned, the wine the original recipient does not drink. These items have real value and pass cleanly to someone who will use them. The gift's life extends rather than terminating in a closet, which is the practical case for the practice.
When it is not
Re-gifting items that are noticeably tailored to the original recipient (anything monogrammed, anything related to the original recipient's specific hobby, anything that would clearly mark its origin) is the failure mode. So is re-gifting things the new recipient would not have wanted on the merits, which is functionally giving them a no-thought gift. The reliable test: would the new recipient be happy to receive this gift if they knew its full history. If yes, the re-gift is doing its job. If no, the closet is the better destination.
Where it shows up around VibeLovely
Re-gifting is a recurring topic in The Desk: Gifts and connects to the broader Rites & Etiquette conversation about contemporary gift-giving.
References
- Post, P., Post, A., Post, L., & Senning, D. P. (2017). Emily Post's Etiquette (19th ed.). William Morrow.
- Emily Post Institute. The art of re-gifting. emilypost.com
- Adams, G. S., Flynn, F. J., & Norton, M. I. (2012). The gifts we keep on giving: documenting and destigmatizing the regifting taboo. Psychological Science, 23(10), 1145-1150.
- Vanderbilt, A. (1995). Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette (Rev. ed.). Doubleday.
