In This Article
Hostess gift. A small gift brought by a guest to acknowledge the work a host has done in receiving them. Modern hostess-gift etiquette is anchored by three rules: bring something that does not require the host to do anything (no fresh flowers requiring a vase, no food requiring serving), arrive with it visible and unopened, do not expect it to be used during the gathering.
Where the term comes from
The convention has roots in pan-European hospitality customs and was codified for English-speaking middle-class entertaining in the late Victorian era. Emily Post's 1922 Etiquette mainstreamed the modern American version. The current set of acceptable gifts (a bottle of wine, a tin of good chocolate, a candle, a small plant in its own pot) is a late-20th-century stabilization.
How it shows up in real life
A guest arrives at a dinner party carrying a bunch of cut tulips with no wrapping. The host now has to find a vase, trim the stems, and arrange the flowers while six guests stand in the kitchen. The gift created work. The kinder version of the same impulse is a potted plant, a wrapped candle, or a sealed bottle of wine that the host can put on a shelf and forget about until the gathering is over.
Common misuses
Hostess gifts are not party favors and they are not a substitute for an RSVP. They are also not the same as bringing a dish to a potluck (which is the dish itself; an additional hostess gift is not expected). The most common error is bringing flowers that require staging; the second is bringing food that the host did not plan to serve and feels pressured to put out.
